First: -No matter how cathartic, my frustration fueled fantasies of becoming a conventionally attractive woman with a huge dick and balls and having my life magically improve are transphobic and internalize harmful patriarchal notions. Period. -By creating the content I write, regardless of intention, I am willfully taking actions that can cause harm and I am responsible for both those wounds and old wounds reopened.
Then, in no particular order: -Writing with physical symbolism, in a genre about being physical, is a learning process that involves playing with fire. Always strive to do better, to be respectful, to listen to others who have real experience, and to react with grace when burned. -That which is well-meaning can still be harmful. Even if I am writing with respect, I do not have the right to feel attacked when called out. -I hate being fetishized for being a bisexual and non-binary, the same is true for others. -Do not allow the toxicity towards being a woman or bisexual taint my writing. Craft stories with love and understanding, not hate or shame. -In writing about sex, gender, and transformation involving both, I am participating in a conversation that is like an iceberg. There is always more I do not know because it is outside my experience. -Never elevate phallic symbols at the expense of vaginal ones. The puss is just as strong and to write otherwise continues to propagate the very notions I hate about gender conventions. – Genitals do not equal gender identity. Women can have penises, men can have vaginas. Neither is empowered or diminished by this fact.
And finally: – Sharing a story with tags puts it in front of people who have not opted-in to seeing it. This can be viewed as an act of aggression and people who feel threatened will respond as such. Also, just because I never get pushback, does not mean I should not continually strive to evaluate the biases in my thinking and expression in the same way one would check for wear and tear on any other tool.